I’m A Calm – A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum – letras

[HYSTERIUM]I’m calm,I’m calm,I’m perfectly calm,I’m utterly under control.I haven’t a worry:Where others would hurry I stroll.I’m calm,I’m cool,A gibbering foolIs something I never become.When thunder is rumblingAnd others are crumbling,I hum.Hm–hmmm–hmmmmm!!!!!HMMMMM!!!!H-M-M-M!!!!I must think calm comforting things,Butterfly wings,Emerald rings,Or a murmuring brook,Murmuring, murmuring, murmuring…look,I’m calm,I’m calm,I haven’t a qualm,I’m utterly under control.Let nothing confuse meOr faze me– [yawn] –Excuse me.I’m calm.Oh so calm.Oh so–[PSEUDOLUS (offstage):]Hysterium![HYSTERIUM]I’m calm,I’m calm,I’m perfectly calm,Indifferent to tensions and shocks.Unruffled and ready,My nerves are as steadyAs rocks.I’m calm, controlled,So cool that I’m cold,Aloofer than any giraffe.When something’s the matter,Where others would shatterI laugh. [Laughs hysterically]I must breathe deep, ever so deep,Think about sheepGoing to sleep,Stop and count up to ten, 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9…whenYou need aplombAnd want to be calm’Cause life is a horrible dream,Just count up to tenVery slowly, and then–[PSEUDOLUS (offstage):]Hysterium![HYSTERIUM][screams]