Talkin’ Alien Abduction Blues – Dan Bern – letras

I don’t know what made me go out that nightAt that hour I’d have normally been in bedBut I found myself lookin’ up at the skyAt a very bright light straight overheadIt flashed greenThen RedSanta Claus colorsI stood there frozen in that lightThen I started hearin’ this kind of whirThe lights got louder and the noise got brighterAnd I felt a sudden chillBrrrrrrrrIt was coldI shouldn’t have gone out without a coatMy mom was right againThen this big old spaceship floated downAnd hovered 3 feet above the EarthNever been so scared in all my lifeCould’ve given spontaneous birthIf I was a womanAnd pregnantThen these two little guys about 4 feet tallJumped off that space age Greyhound busThey grabbed me by the arms and said »Start walking, Dan. You’re coming with us »AbductionThey didn’t actually speak, but I understood ’emTelepathyThey strapped me down to this metal crateTook out the 35-foot long hoseThey said « Don’t worry, this won’t hurt »Then they shoved that sucker up my noseAll the way upI knew my nose way long, but this was a supriseThey examined me from head to toeStuck prods in every orificeThis cold gray box came and gave me a kissThen extracted a coupld of quarts of pissI felt dehydratedThen they waved this wand around my headSaid, « Now we’re reading your thoughts, you seeYou got an awful lot of songs in thereThough it seems they’re all in the key of G »I said « What about Marilyn? That’s in D »They said « D flat, actually »I said, « Yeah, because I tune it down a half stepWhat about Hannibal? »They said « What about Hannibal? »I said « Well, technically, it’s in GBut it’s really a dropped D tuning capo’d up »They said « How come you don’t play the harmonica more? »I said « How come I’m in a space shipTalking to aliens about my act? »They said, « We’d rather talk physicsBut you’re illiterate there »Couldn’t argueThey dropped me somewhere in BrazilTook a month to get back to the USAWhen I told my friends what I’d been throughNo one believe what I had to sayThat suckedIt’s to be expected, thoughMost people think Hannibal’s in straight tuningWell, my life’s back to normal nowI do the things I always do’Cept once a week I meet with 12Other folks who’ve been abducted tooI tell my storyThey tell theirsI don’t believe them, though