Catch a shooting star and put it in your pocketAnd your pants will start on fireOne bird in the hand, or two birds in the bushNeither do you any good, when you’re stuck in the quagmireShow everyone you’re not sure that they’re telling the truthThen you can be known as the universal cynic tooBenefit your fellow man with good deeds for the dayAnd you’ll serve your life awayPennies saved today are pennies still tomorrowStrewn upon the desk, piled up in the paper weightShow everyone you’re not sure that they’re telling the truthThen you can be known as the universal cynic tooWipe your opaque eyes and restore your crystal visionTurn another cheek and exalt in your decisionA bit of exercise for the universal cynic in youEarly to bed and early to risePrecludes you from seeing the most brilliant starry nightsSticks and stones can break bones, words can’t really hurtUnless you carry guns, and are hungry for a fightChallenging the standards, or questioning the established rulesTrying to understand how they can benefit youShowing everyone you’re not sure that they’re telling the truthJust a bit of exercise for the universal cynic in youThe universal cynic is you